Breaking the Silence: My Coming Out, Men’s Mental Health, and Suicide Prevention

By Greg McLean (Deputy CEO, Cheshire FA)

Men’s mental health and suicide prevention must remain front and centre in our collective consciousness. In the UK, suicide tragically remains the leading preventable cause of death for men under 50. Despite progress, stigma lingers—too many still believe “man up” means staying silent. But our strength lies in vulnerability: opening up, breaking the silence, and building community.

My Journey: From Disclosure to Advocacy

For years, I lived with a secret. I knew I was gay, but I kept it hidden—telling myself that staying quiet was the safest thing to do. Working in football, a sport that still carries stereotypes and old attitudes, I feared what people might think, how it could affect my career, and whether I’d lose friends or respect.

I became skilled at compartmentalising—presenting one version of myself to the world while hiding another. That came with a heavy cost: the constant pressure, the mental exhaustion, and the feeling of never truly being myself. There were moments of loneliness and isolation that I carried in silence, because that’s what I thought was expected of me.

Eventually, I realised that the fear of being “found out” was worse than the fear of speaking up. In 2018, I decided it was time to live authentically. I shared my story publicly through The Football Association, in an article that detailed not just my decision to come out, but the years of inner struggle that led to it (read it here).

The reaction was overwhelmingly positive. People reached out—friends, colleagues, complete strangers—to say my story had resonated with them. It was a reminder that openness has a ripple effect. Later, I spoke to Sky Sports as part of the Rainbow Laces Campaign (watch here), and that experience reinforced my belief in the power of storytelling to challenge stigma, encourage understanding, and inspire others to be themselves.

Why Men’s Mental Health Must Be a Priority

The statistics speak volumes:

• Men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women, and most are not known to have issues in advance.

• Every day, 10 men in England and Wales die by suicide.

• When men have safe, judgment-free spaces to talk, the impact is transformative.

Proudly Partnering with Tough to Talk

One of the most meaningful chapters of my advocacy work has been with Tough to Talk—a UK charity dedicated to breaking the silence around male suicide and equipping men and organisations to speak openly. Their male-only suicide first-aid training, accredited and practical, builds confidence for real conversations and lifesaving interventions.

During my time at Cheshire FA, I’m incredibly proud of our collaboration with Tough to Talk: raising vital awareness, securing funds, and creating platforms where men could feel safe to open up. I was especially proud to lead the team in organising the Tough to Talk Trophy competition for men in July 2025, which welcomed over 100 people to Cheshire FA to take part, connect, and raise awareness of male suicide prevention. We’ve seen the difference it makes when men are given space to share their struggles without fear of judgment. It wasn’t just about talk; it was about action.

Why This Matters—And What We Can Do

Men are often the ones left behind by mental health messaging. But that’s changing, thanks to organisations like Tough to Talk, who are building safe, supportive, and empowering spaces for men to have real conversations about their mental health.

Still, the work isn’t done. We must:

• Keep bringing men’s mental health into the light—not pushing it into the shadows.

• Normalise vulnerability and emotional openness.

• Support and partner with initiatives like Tough to Talk that dismantle stigma and build real support systems.

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A Final Word

My coming-out journey taught me that authenticity breeds connection. That same authenticity can save lives. Let’s keep men’s mental health and suicide prevention at the forefront—through storytelling, advocacy, training, and community. Because when men are allowed to be both vulnerable and strong, we all become stronger.

Together, we can make talking easier—and make it safe, powerful, and life-saving.