Unmasking Masculinity: Lessons from Men, Masks, and Tate Smith

By Steve Whittle

This November, as we mark Men’s Health Month and Trans Awareness Week, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on something deeply personal and profoundly important. I’ve written this blog to honour both of these causes and to celebrate one of the most inspiring interviews I’ve ever had the privilege of conducting - my conversation with Tate Smith for Tough To Talk’s Man Behind the Mask series.

Tate is a trans activist, writer, and business founder who has navigated a journey of identity, masculinity, and mental health that is as complex as it is inspiring. His story is a perfect fit for this month’s themes, as it bridges the silent struggles men face with the resilience and contributions of the trans+ community.

The Masks We Wear

Men are masters of disguise. We wear masks that say, “I’m fine,” when we’re anything but. We project strength, confidence, and control, even when we’re crumbling inside. It’s a survival mechanism, sure, but it’s also a trap - one that isolates us and keeps us from seeking the help we need.

Tate’s story adds a unique layer to this conversation. He spoke about the “mask of femininity” he wore for 19 years, overcompensating with hyper-feminine traits to fit into a world that didn’t see him for who he truly was. Then, during his early transition, he adopted the “lad label” mask, trying to emulate the hyper-masculine stereotypes he thought were required to be seen as a man.

But here’s the thing: masks are exhausting. They weigh us down. And eventually, they crack.

Tate’s journey is a powerful reminder that masculinity isn’t a one-size-fits-all concept. It’s not about lifting the heaviest weights, drinking the most pints, or being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about showing up as your authentic self, whatever that looks like.

What Tate Taught Me

Tate’s perspective as a trans man brought something entirely new to the table. He’s lived on both sides of the gender spectrum, and his insights into male privilege, mental health, and societal expectations are nothing short of profound.

For example, Tate talked about how, as a woman, he benefited from the “you okay, hun?” culture - an environment where it was socially acceptable to talk about feelings and seek support. But as a man, he’s noticed how quickly conversations about mental health can shut down. People get uncomfortable. They don’t know what to say.

And that’s the problem. We tell men to “open up,” but when they do, the world often responds with silence. Tate’s message is clear: it’s not just about men talking more; it’s about creating spaces where men feel safe to speak and where their vulnerability is met with understanding, not awkwardness.

Why This Month Matters

November is a big month. Men’s Health Month reminds us to prioritise mental well-being and challenge the stigma around vulnerability. Trans Awareness Week celebrates the resilience and contributions of the trans+ community while highlighting the challenges they still face.

Tate’s story sits perfectly at the intersection of these two causes. It’s a reminder that mental health doesn’t discriminate - it affects all of us, regardless of gender identity. And it’s a call to action to break down the barriers that prevent men, trans or cis, from seeking the support they need.

The Power of Authenticity

What struck me most about Tate is his authenticity. He’s unapologetically himself, and that’s a rare and beautiful thing. He’s redefined masculinity on his own terms, and in doing so, he’s permitted others to do the same.

Tate’s version of masculinity isn’t about dominance or bravado. It’s about kindness, empathy, and using his platform to lift others. It’s about being a gentleman, rooting for the underdog, and speaking up for those who can’t.

And isn’t that what we should all strive for? To be good humans first and foremost, regardless of the labels society tries to slap on us?

A Call to Action

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this interview, it’s that we all have the power to redefine what it means to be a man. Whether you’re a man, a trans man, or someone who doesn’t fit neatly into any box, you get to decide what masculinity looks like for you.

So, let’s take off the masks. Let’s have the hard conversations. Let’s create spaces where men feel safe to be vulnerable. And let’s celebrate the courage it takes to live authentically, just like Tate does every single day.

To Tate: thank you for your honesty, your wisdom, and your humour. You’ve inspired me, and I know you’ll inspire everyone who watches this interview.

To everyone else: watch the interview. Share it. Talk about it. And most importantly, take what you’ve learned and put it into action.

Because the world doesn’t need more men wearing masks. It needs more men like Tate.

Watch the full interview here. https://youtu.be/YN-eXHmPR-E