"MAN UP"

"Man up"

That's what people say

If only it were that easy

If only I had the words to convey

I sit here yet again after a sleepless night

I wonder how I will get through this day

Nothing but an endless daily fight

Away from the world, I feel I want to stay

For so long in my life I've felt this way

So much of my time wasted on such worry

Constantly trying to keep my intrusive thoughts,

anxiety and depression at bay

Everyday I tell people I'm ok

And I put on a fake smile

I walk about with this fake display

I know all too well it only lasts a while

Friends claim that they are there for you

That they are only a call away

Countless times I've been unable to get through

Crying alone in my bed I've had to stay

Every time I promise myself to get support

And that I will try to make positive change

I  once again fall short

My thoughts I just cannot rearrange

Then I wake up one day

Feeling slightly better than the last

I know I'm sick of feeling this way

These thoughts I know I want to get past

I decide to make a decision

Then, I remind myself of who I am

In my mind there appears a positive vision

I know I can beat this with a clear plan

It may not happen in a day

It may not happen in a year

Its ok if I stumble and go slightly astray

My future is mine, and I do not fear

"Man up"

That's what people say

I'm going to be the best version of myself

And I now know that there's a way

Stephen Geggus© 09/02/2025 23:25

 My mental health is something I have struggled with my entire adult life.

Whether it be health anxiety, depression,

or my continued fight with my OCD, it certainly has been an uphill battle, to say the least. For many years, I felt I couldn't speak about how I was feeling due to embarrassment,

social stigma, and fear of being laughed at. It wasn't until 2021 that I decided to talk to my GP, family and friends about my continued struggle with my mental health. I knew I had had enough of suffering silently

day in, day out.

I started writing poetry and short stories in 2024 by just writing down my worries and how I felt after each day. It helped me process my thoughts and calm my anxiety.

Then I thought maybe my words could help others, too, by hopefully inspiring them and giving them courage to speak about how they are feeling and that it's okay not to be okay.

I know I'm not 100% with my mental health yet, some days are better than others, but I do know that there are family, friends, and charities that will always be there for you 100%. Please never feel like you are alone, never feel like you cannot speak about your struggles because you are a man.

Your story might be the one that inspires and gives someone the courage to speak about theirs."

Stephen Geggus